How to professionally say: “You are not my boss” 💬 –
Introduction 👋
We’ve all been there—a coworker steps in and starts acting like they’re your manager, handing out tasks, critiquing your work, or steering your schedule.
You’re left wondering, “Wait, who put them in charge?” 🤷♀️
It can be awkward, but setting boundaries doesn’t have to be confrontational. 🚧
The good news? 🌟
With the right words, you can politely let them know that you already have a manager.
Here’s how to keep things friendly, clear, and professional when saying, “Actually… you’re not my boss.”
Example things to say 🙅♀️
Here are a few examples for specific situations:
If they give you extra work 🎁
- “Thanks for thinking of me! I’ll check with [Manager’s Name] to see if this fits with my current workload.”
- “I appreciate your input. I’ll review it with [Manager’s Name] to make sure it aligns with my current projects.”
- “I’m fully focused on my current tasks from [Manager’s Name], but I’ll let them know about your idea for future planning.”
- “Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll add it to my list and confirm with [Manager’s Name] if there’s room to prioritise it.”
- “I’m going to stick with the plan that I’ve worked out with [Manager’s Name]. I’ll let you know if any changes are made.”
- “I’m happy to pass along your ideas to [Manager’s Name], and I’ll follow up if they see any need to make changes.”
- “I’ve already planned out my workload with [Manager’s Name], but thanks for keeping me in mind!”
If they try to change your work 🔀
- “That’s an interesting approach! I’ll bring it up with [Manager’s Name] and get back to you if there are any changes.”
- “I appreciate the advice! I’ll keep working as [Manager’s Name] has directed, but I’ll let you know if there’s an opportunity to use this approach in the future.”
- “Thanks for the idea. I’ll continue with the plan I discussed with [Manager’s Name], but I’ll keep your suggestion in mind for other projects.”
- “Good idea! I’m following a process set by [Manager’s Name] at the moment, so I’ll check with them if there’s room to make adjustments.”
- “To keep things consistent, I’ll check with [Manager’s Name] about any changes to my tasks or deadlines.”
- “Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll make sure to confirm any adjustments directly with [Manager’s Name].”
- “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’ll keep my tasks and deadlines set with [Manager’s Name] to stay on track.”
If they pester you for updates ⌚
- “I’m in regular contact with [Manager’s Name] about project progress. If there’s anything new, I’m sure they’ll update you.”
- “I’m currently handling this through [Manager’s Name], and I’ll keep them posted on any changes.”
- “I’ll be reporting my progress to [Manager’s Name] directly, so if there are any updates, I’ll make sure they’re shared.”
- “I’m following a schedule worked out with [Manager’s Name], so I’m on track there. I’ll let them know if I need support.”
- “Thanks for checking in! I’ll be getting regular feedback directly from [Manager’s Name] to keep on top of things.”
- “I’ve coordinated with [Manager’s Name] on this one, but I’ll keep you in the loop if any updates are needed.”
Tips for setting boundaries professionally 👨💼
- 🧘♀️ Stay calm and polite – Being calm keeps the conversation positive and avoids defensiveness.
- 💬 Use gentle language – Phrases like “I’ll check with [Manager’s Name]” remind them of the reporting line without being confrontational.
- ☀️ Assume good intentions – Some coworkers may not realise they’re overstepping, so a polite nudge usually resolves it.
- 🧑💼 Involve your manager if necessary – If the behaviour continues, it’s okay to have a private chat with your manager for advice.
How to set boundaries 🚧
1. Stay calm and friendly 🧘♀️
If someone crosses a boundary in-person, it’s important to keep your tone and body language calm and friendly.
Speaking politely helps keep the situation light and shows you’re not looking for a confrontation.🥊
2. Mention your own responsibilities 📝
A good way to address this issue is to mention your own tasks and responsibilities. 📜
By saying what you’re focused on, you can remind them that you have a specific role and set of tasks that you’re managing. ⚙️
You could try saying things like:
- “Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll check with [Manager’s Name] to see how this fits with my other tasks.”
- “I appreciate the advice. I’ll make sure to run it by [Manager’s Name] before making any changes.”
This lets your coworker know that you follow your manager’s guidance without saying directly, “You’re not my boss.” 🙅♀️
3. Use “I” statements 🙋♀️
If you focus on pointing out the other person’s bad behaviour, they could get offended or it might be awkward. 🫵
Instead, using “I” statements, and focusing on talking about yourself can help you explain your viewpoint without sounding defensive or annoyed. 🙋♀️
For example, you could say:
- “I’m currently prioritising the tasks that [Manager’s Name] has set out for me, but I appreciate your feedback.”
- “I’m working on [specific task] as assigned by [Manager’s Name]. I’ll check with them if there’s flexibility in my schedule.”
This keeps the focus on what you’re doing, while still letting your coworker know you’re taking instructions from your manager. 👀
4. Suggest they speak with your manager 🎤
If your coworker keeps trying to direct your work, it might be good to politely suggest that they should discuss any changes or ideas with your manager. 🧑💼
This can help remind them who is responsible for your workload.
You could say something like:
- “If you think this needs to be changed, it’s best to bring it up with [Manager’s Name]. They’ll let me know if anything is needed on my end.”
- “For any changes to my tasks, feel free to discuss it with [Manager’s Name] so we’re all on the same page.”
This keeps your tone professional while showing that you follow your manager’s lead.
5. Be direct but polite 🎯
If more subtle hints aren’t working, sometimes a more direct approach is needed.
You can be straightforward while still being polite. 🤝
To be more direct, you could say something like:
- “Thanks for your input, but [Manager’s Name] is my main point of contact for any changes. I’d prefer to follow their guidance.”
- “I appreciate your interest in my work! To stay organised, I need to take direction directly from [Manager’s Name].”
This approach is polite but clear, and explains that you’ll follow your manager’s direction.
6. Remind them of your role and responsibilities 🙅♀️
If a coworker is regularly overstepping, you it might be helpful to politely remind them of your role and responsibilities. 🔁
For example, you could say:
- “As a [your job title], I work directly with [Manager’s Name] on task priorities.”
- “My role focuses on [specific projects or tasks], so I coordinate directly with [Manager’s Name] on these.”
This subtly reinforces that your responsibilities are assigned by your manager, which can gently remind them not to overstep. 👣
Conclusion 👍
So that’s it!
By using these approaches, you can set boundaries respectfully without offending anyone. ☀️
To professionally explain to someone: “You are not my boss”, you should:
- Stay calm and friendly 🧘♀️
- Mention your own responsibilities 📝
- Use “I” statements 🙋♀️
- Suggest they speak with your manager 🎤
- Be direct but polite 🎯
- Remind them of your role and responsibilities 🙅♀️
Hopefully this article has helped you to understand better how to set boundaries at work.
If you know any friends or family members who struggle with setting boundaries at work, share this post with them!
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