How to stay calm during an argument 🧘♂️-
Introduction 👋
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a heated argument, feeling overwhelmed and losing control? 🥴
Arguments are a natural part of human life, but they can quickly escalate and become emotionally charged.
In these moments, it’s really important to stay calm to be able to communicate well to resolve conflicts. 🔊
Learning how to stay calm during arguments can improve your relationships and overall wellbeing.
Here are some simple strategies to help you stay calm during an argument:
1. Take a deep breath 💨
When emotions start to rise, it can be really helpful to take a moment to pause and take a deep breath. ⏸️
Deep breathing can help activate your body’s relaxation response, calming your mind and reducing stress. 😮💨
Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth. You can repeat this several times until you feel more centered and grounded. 🔁
2. Remember the other person is probably hurting 🤕
During an argument, it’s important to remember that both people in the argument are probably feeling very hurt, and might not be explaining their feelings clearly.
This makes it so important to remember that they probably aren’t trying to say things to hurt you – and that a lot of what is said is coming from hurt feelings. 💔
Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and listening to them can help you see things from their perspective and feel less hurt. 👂
It’s important to acknowledge the other person’s emotions and validate their experiences, even if you disagree with their viewpoint. – They might’ve misunderstood something and gotten hurt in the process, but the pain they feel is real and it really helps to acknowledge that.
Validating the other person’s feelings can de-escalate conflict and create a more supportive atmosphere for resolving differences. 🤝
3. Stay present ⌚
It’s easy to get caught up in past arguments or hurt during an argument.
However, dwelling on the past can:
- increase tension 😬
- make arguments too complicated 🕸️
and make it difficult to resolve the issue at hand. ✅
Focus on the here and now, and what you can do now or in the near future to improve things going forward. 🗺️
4. Listen👂
Feeling like you’re actually being listened to can make arguments feel a lot easier and help you to stay calm.
But how can you get the other person to listen to you? 🤷♀️
Listen to them first! 👂
Instead of focusing on creating your response or defending your position, make a conscious effort to listen to the other person’s perspective.
It’s important to pay attention to the other person’s words, tone, and body language. 👀
Tell them what you’re hearing to make sure you understand what they mean and show that you’re engaged in the conversation.
This can encourage the other person to stay calm, and listen to you in return.
5. Say “It felt like” or “It came across like” 💖
When telling someone that they’ve done something wrong, it can be easier if you try to focus on telling them how they made you feel or how it “came across”, rather than what they did. 💔
For example,
“It felt like you were ignoring me.”
or
“It came across like you were ignoring me.”
is a lot easier to hear than,
“You were being so rude and ignoring me!”
Saying “I feel” means that you’re not directly criticising the person or their character. 🎯
Instead, you’re just pointing out where there has been a misunderstanding that they can explain. 🤷♀️
6. Pause and take space ⏯️
If you feel things escalating and getting angry, it can help to pause and take space to calm down.
This doesn’t mean just walking off though! 🏃♀️💨
It’s important to keep the other person in the loop about how you’re feeling. 🔁
If you think it’ll help to take a break, make sure to:
- let them know that you think it’ll help both of you to take some space, and come back to discuss when you’re feeling more calm
- agree when you’ll come back to the discussion
7. Focus on solutions – not blame 💡
Instead of dwelling on who’s right or wrong, shift the focus of the argument towards finding a solution that benefits both people.
Brainstorm together and explore possible compromises or alternative approaches. 🧠
It’s important to be collaborative and work towards a resolution that addresses the underlying issue rather than assigning blame.
8. Practice self-care 💖
It’s normal to feel frustrated or upset during arguments, but beating yourself up over your emotions will only escalate the situation further. 📈
Practice self-compassion by being kind and understanding towards yourself.
Accept that it’s okay to feel angry or upset, and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can in a challenging situation.
9. Look for common ground 🗺️
Even in a disagreement, you still have things in common with the other person. 🤝
Look for areas of agreement or things you both care about that can be a starting point for you to resolve things.
Focusing on common ground can help bridge the gap between opposing viewpoints and help you to understand each other better.
10. Know when to let go 🙅♀️
Not every argument can be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, and that’s okay.
Sometimes, it’s best to agree to disagree and move on rather than prolonging the conflict. 🤝
Know when to let go of the need to be right and prioritise maintaining the relationship over winning the argument. 🏆
Conclusion 👍
So that’s it!
There are lots of things you can try to help you stay calm in an argument, including:
- Take a deep breath 💨
- Remember the other person is probably hurting 🤕
- Stay present ⌚
- Listen👂
- Say “It felt like” or “It came across like” 💖
- Pause and take space ⏯️
- Focus on solutions – not blame 💡
- Practice self-care 💖
- Look for common ground 🗺️
- Know when to let go 🙅♀️
Hopefully this article has helped you to understand more about what how to stay calm during an argument.
If you know any friends or family members who might benefit from learning about how to stay calm during an argument, share this post with them!
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