How to stop being self-conscious: 10 tips 😳-
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Introduction 👋
When you feel really self-conscious it can be soo difficult to know how to cope! 😨
Feeling self conscious can:
- make it difficult to express yourself
- create anxiety
- make day-to-day activities like shopping or using public transport really hard
- hurt your confidence
- make it difficult to try new things or go out of your comfort zone
- make it hard to make friends
- hurt your mental health
- make it difficult to make decisions
So, it’s important to know how to feel less self conscious.
Today we’re going to teach you how to stop being self conscious, so that you can feel more confident. ☀️
1. Remind yourself that people aren’t looking – Remember the “spotlight effect” 🔦
Did you know that our brains are programmed to think that everyone is looking at us? 👀
This is called the “spotlight effect” 🔦
The spotlight effect is when we think everyone is paying a lot of attention to us, but in reality, they’re not. 🤷♀️
It’s like feeling as if we’re walking around with a spotlight on us on a stage, with everyone watching closely. 🕵️♀️
This makes us sometimes worry too much about what others think of us.
In reality, people are usually more focused on themselves, and they don’t notice us as much as we might think.
For example, can you remember everyone you saw the last time you went shopping? Probably not!
Can you remember what your friends were wearing last week? Probably not!
You were probably too busy focusing on yourself, which is exactly what everyone else was doing.
Recognizing the spotlight effect can help us feel less self-conscious and more relaxed in social situations. 🧘♀️
2. See situations more positively – Think about the “scar experiment” 🤕
In The Dartmouth Scar Experiment people were given a fake scar on their faces during an interview.
When they had a fake scar on their face, participants believed that people acted badly to them and were mean, because they had a scar on their face.
Surprisingly, the scientists never actually put a scar on the participants’ faces (they only pretended to add one!), but because participants thought they had a scar, they assumed that people would be more mean to them!
This experiment showed that the thoughts we choose to have, can have a huge impact on how confident we feel.
In reality, we can choose to believe whether people like us or not.
Did someone give you an odd look in the street?
How do you actually know that they were staring at you? – You don’t!🤷♀️
Maybe they weren’t even looking at you, or maybe they were admiring your outfit! 💃
You can choose to see situations more positively, to feel less self conscious.
3. Accept Imperfections 💔
A lot of the time we feel self conscious if we don’t think we’re “perfect”.
Nobody is perfect, and that’s okay!
Embrace your imperfections as part of what makes you special.
Remember, everyone has their own quirks.
4. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed 🏆
If you’re surrounded by people who are hard on you, it can make it really easy to be hard on yourself. 😟
Make sure that you’re surrounded by supportive people, who will cheer you on! 📣🎉
If the people around you are encouraging and supportive, it’ll encourage you to be less hard on yourself!
Positive friends and family can boost your confidence and help you feel more secure in being yourself.
5. Be kind to yourself 💖
Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. We all make mistakes, and it’s important to forgive yourself and move forward.
10 ways to be less hard on yourself 💖
If you struggle to be kind to yourself, speaking to your doctor can help you find ways to feel better.
Apps like Headspace can give you tools like meditation, sleep stories, positive music, and exercise ideas to help you reduce stress, and feel more positive.
6. Consider rejection therapy 🙅♀️
A lot of the time we feel self-conscious because we’re afraid of being rejected.
But what if rejection wasn’t so scary?
Rejection therapy is like a game where you practice facing rejection to become more confident and less afraid of being told “no.”
It’s a way to build courage by intentionally seeking out situations where people might say no to your requests or ideas.
The goal is to learn that rejection isn’t the end of the world and that you can handle it. By playing rejection therapy, you get better at facing challenges, and it helps you worry less about what others think, making you more comfortable with yourself.
7. Think positively about the past 🧠
It can be very easy to be harsh on yourself when life doesn’t go your way. 🥴
If something goes wrong – you failed an exam, you embarrassed yourself, you upset someone.
Try not to feel negative about these things! 🌟
Feeling negative about the past can:
- eat away at your confidence 🍴
- prevent you from trying again 🔁
- make it difficult to move on 🛣️
If you can change your mindset to feel positive about the past, it can help you to feel more confident for the future.
8. Remember other people feel self-conscious too 😳
If you’re struggling with feeling self-conscious – you’re probably not alone!
There are probably plenty of people around you, feeling just as self-conscious as you!
If you Google it, you’ll probably find people talking about feeling self-conscious online! 🔎
Would you be hard on someone else for having those same problems? 🤷♀️
Probably not!
9. Don’t let yourself feel self-conscious until you’ve tried it 100 times 🔁
Feeling self-conscious can make it really difficult to try new things!
Learning something new is challenging! 💪
It can be easy to get annoyed at yourself and feel self-conscious if you’re not good at it straight away.
But, learning takes time! ⌚
You can’t expect yourself to be amazing at everything straight away.
Before you try something new, decide how many times you’re going to keep trying before you let yourself think that yourself feel self-conscious and bad about it!
Why not 100? 🤷♀️💯
10. Don’t compare yourself to others 🪞
We live in a world where everyone is constantly being compared to each other, and this can make us feel very self-conscious. ⚖️🌎
Your grades, your appearance, how much money you have… 🎓👗💸
This can be really stressful. 🤯
On top of that, we’re surrounded by images of “success” online, where people often only show the best parts of their lives. 📱🏖️
It can be easy to be hard on yourself, when you don’t feel like you’re better compared to others. 😢
BUT-
How you compare to others, shouldn’t matter! 🤷♀️
Do you think Beyoncé sits around beating herself up for not looking like Britney Spears? 🤔
No! 🙅♀️
She’s busy being Beyoncé! 💃
Life is not about becoming better than everyone else — it’s about being the best version of yourself. 🌟🤩
A lot of people who become successful, do it because they’re busy focusing on improving themselves, instead of comparing themselves to everyone else! 🏋️🪞
Your life story is unique 👌
On top of this, remember that your life circumstances are completely unique to everyone else. 🌎
Your upbringing, life experiences, talents, and opportunities you come across are also completely different to everyone else. 👣✨
A lot of these things are out of your control. 🎮
When you compare yourself to someone else, there are about a million different steps in their life, that has taken them to a different place than you. 🗺️
So, if you’re living on a completely different map, why should you feel bad for not being in the same place as them? 🤷♀️📌
Find inspiration from other people ✨
It can be so easy to look at other people’s achievements and get jealous! 😒
You might find yourself thinking things like:
“They’re just lucky” 🍀
or “They’re so much better than me” 🌠
Instead, you should use other people to inspire you, not to make you feel bad about yourself! 🤩🙌
Instead you should think things like:
“Wow, I’d love to learn from them.” 😃
or “I’m going to try and work as hard as them!” 💪
You can use other people’s success to help you grow and improve yourself. 🪴
Conclusion 👍
So that’s it!
Here are our top 10 ways to stop being self-conscious:
- Remind yourself that people aren’t looking – Remember the “spotlight effect” 🔦
- See situations more positively – Think about the “scar experiment” 🤕
- Accept Imperfections 💔
- Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed 🏆
- Be kind to yourself 💖
- Consider rejection therapy 🙅♀️
- Think positively about the past 🧠
- Remember other people feel self-conscious too 😳
- Don’t let yourself feel self-conscious until you’ve tried it 100 times 🔁
- Don’t compare yourself to others 🪞
If you know any friends or family members who might benefit from learning about how to stop being self-conscious, share this post with them!
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